# How to Justify CCW to the wife



## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

Howdy, I'm new here but I recognize several people from other forums including Shipwreck from HKPro and jwkimber45 from my duck hunting forum...anyway, no other handgun forum I've been on adequately addressed the CCW issue...so after I saw a similar question on another thread I figured I’d start with a question here...

When I attained my CCW permit after years of owning and shooting handguns, my wife freaked out...she claims “not to be afraid of guns” and this should be the case, since the first time I met her father (a very soft spoken, unassuming and kind man), he had a gun sitting on a ledge next to their house door, and I know she used to hunt with him; we have kids but my firearms are ALWAYS locked up and separated from the ammo and she's fine with that; but, she sees no use in carrying even when I expain that it is for our family's own protection and that I have to answer to a higher burden than the average citizen...and when I try to get her to go to he range with me she says “when we can get a babysitter, I can think of 1000 places I’d rather go”

I don’t know if she is playing tuff girl to avoid the subject or just disregarding my honest desire to protect our family (I've actually been threatened by a gun before). We’ve been married for 10 years and have just clicked on every other aspect in life except for this one….sorry to make this my first (long stupid) post without saying “Hi”, but I’m frazzled here and wondering if anyone has any insight, experiences or suggestions.

Respectfully, 

Buckeye


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## P97 (May 8, 2006)

My Wife is receptative to CCW so I don't have that problem. I think that if she wasn't, I would try to find a Woman that had her CC permit and get her to talk to my wife. My Wife and Daughter-in-law both have their CCW permits.

Welcome to Handgun Forum !!!


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## Rustycompass (Jun 25, 2006)

*find the right man & ya get the right answer...*



P97 said:


> I would try to find a Woman that had her CC permit and get her to talk to my wife. My Wife and Daughter-in-law both have their CCW permits.
> 
> Welcome to Handgun Forum !!!


There ya go Buckeye problem solved, P97's on the job :smt023. Now how hard was that? 
Welcome to the forum !


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

LOL ...thanks for the support and replys unfortunately the only women I know that like to shoot are Police Officers I work with and my wife's an extremely jealous type...well, hey, maybe I can use that to my advantage :smt082 
(I should mention for the sake of this forum that I'm not an LEO, but I work very closely with our Public Safety Division).

No I need to ease her into it somehow...I bought her a .380 to take her class with and carry but she has no interest in either. :smt022


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## Maximo (May 26, 2006)

First welcome to the forum I think you will like this group of guys. 
Now to the question at hand. I don't know of any single phrase or statistic that will change most peoples minds. With some it is a slow come around, some need to be mugged, some never come around. You can ask simple questions like why do you have a fire extinguisher or keep insurance on the cars and house, but you can never tell what will finally change someone’s mind, if at all. 

The number of times a person, not LEO, successfully defends themselves with a legally owned firearm in this country every year is about 700,000 times. Suicide is used to pad the stats on accidental shootings so if you strip that away it comes to about 15-17 accidental deaths by firearm every year. That sounds like a lot but 1500 kids die every year on skateboards, about the same on bikes about 75 on roller coasters, but there is no serious nation wide attempt to ban these things. I have a 7 year old boy and I started teaching firearm safety when he could walk. He has never touched a gun without permission. The deal is if at any time he wants to see one of my guns I will stop everything I am doing and unload it and then make him go through the unloading process, then he can inspect it. He doesn't seem to care too much about guns but that is because all the mystery is gone.
This is probably of no help to you but this is how I handle things in my house, but my wife digs guns too, so I don't have your problem
:mrgreen:


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## Rustycompass (Jun 25, 2006)

*you'll find away...*

Jus' razzin ya... jus sit tight. There's alot of good folks in here and I bet you'll get some more suggestions. I still like P's though. " if " it were possible I'd introduce ya to my wife, she has her ccw & shoots a 9mm & she's completely cool with guns....but I guess " if " frogs had wings huh?


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## 2400 (Feb 4, 2006)

Take her to the morgue and ask her if she would like alive, carrying and breathing or you on a table. 

or
Check around different clubs, ranges, etc in your area and see if they have a womens program. NO men, just women teaching women. Women talking about gun ownership, teaching fundamental marksmanship ,and showing other women how to shoot. That may help both of you out.


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## Rustycompass (Jun 25, 2006)

Maximo said:


> I have a 7 year old boy and I started teaching firearm safety when he could walk. He has never touched a gun without permission. The deal is if at any time he wants to see one of my guns I will stop everything I am doing and unload it and then make him go through the unloading process, then he can inspect it. He doesn't seem to care too much about guns but that is because all the mystery is gone.
> :mrgreen:


I jus have to say that is excellent!!! What your doing is so very important. I plan on doin the same with my boy but I have awhile since he is only 2. Max, you sound like a great father. Time well spend...


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## Maximo (May 26, 2006)

rustycompass said:


> I jus have to say that is excellent!!! What your doing is so very important. I plan on doin the same with my boy but I have awhile since he is only 2. Max, you sound like a great father. Time well spend...


Thanks Rusty.


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## Rustycompass (Jun 25, 2006)

2400 said:


> Take her to the morgue and ask her if she would like alive, carrying and breathing


Hey Buck
2400 has a sutle way about him, don't ya think? Comes from flyin all those fighter jets...god love him!


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

rustycompass said:


> Hey Buck
> 2400 has a sutle way about him, don't ya think? Comes from flyin all those fighter jets...god love him!


Taking her to the morgue...

Actually I think that would be a good idea...she should know anyway though she just got out of the TV News Business and had to listen to scanners and do stories about shootings, rapes and violence on innocent people all the time...but she turned that argument around and told me that she never heard a about someone with a CCW Permit defending their family or themselves (not that the liberal media would pay attention to that anyway). It's wierd because she's not your typical brain-washed liberal media type of person, on the contrary, very conservative in her views, she used to take it to the libs in the newsroom on different issues...she never cared about my firearms before and it's just perplexing me about her strong reaction to me getting my permit...maybe it's because it changed from something I do at the range every week or two to something practical that would be on me, or maybe she just needs time to adjust. I am looking into women only classes as well.

I like this forum thanks for the advice


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## P97 (May 8, 2006)

If I was to tell my wife that I think Guns are for men, and women shouldn't be allowed to handle and shoot them and have CC licenses, she would get one just to show me. Bought her a 9MM after she got her CCW, but she kept wanting to shoot my .45 and after shooting it, I had to sell the 9MM and buy her a .45.


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## jwkimber45 (May 6, 2006)

Howdy Buckeye!!! Which waterfowl forum?? GLW?? Fuge???


I'll +1 the finding a womens only program suck as the one the NRA puts on. Its a tough row to how I'm sure. Good luck.


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

P97 said:


> If I was to tell my wife that I think Guns are for men, and women shouldn't be allowed to handle and shoot them and have CC licenses, she would get one just to show me. Bought her a 9MM after she got her CCW, but she kept wanting to shoot my .45 and after shooting it, I had to sell the 9MM and buy her a .45.


Well that's one approach I hadn't though of, being as competitve as she is she always used to joke that she could probably outshoot me...Hmmmm



jwkimber45 said:


> Howdy Buckeye!!! Which waterfowl forum?? GLW?? Fuge???


GLW "BD", I'm on the Fuge too but not as much anymore.

Love your Avatar by the way.


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## Charlie (May 13, 2006)

Ya' got some really good information so far.........so I really can't add anything except........GOOD LUCK!!! Let us know how it's working. :watching: :smt028 :smt090 :smt090 :smt090


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## jwkimber45 (May 6, 2006)

Buckeye said:


> Well that's one approach I hadn't though of, being as competitve as she is she always used to joke that she could probably outshoot me...Hmmmm
> 
> GLW "BD", I'm on the Fuge too but not as much anymore.
> 
> Love your Avatar by the way.


Were you at the Waterfowlers bootcamp a few weeks ago??


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

jwkimber45 said:


> Were you at the Waterfowlers bootcamp a few weeks ago??


Yep but I didn't get there till about 1pm, stayed for the OWA Meeting.


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## Shipwreck (Jan 26, 2006)

Well, my wife has begrudgingly accepted my guns and my CCW permit - however, no luck at getting her to take up my interest. And, that's ok. Don't push her. But, do your own thing with your permit and guns, and disregard the rest...


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## Bob Wright (May 10, 2006)

I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but you don't need to justify carrying a gun to your wife. As head of the household, all you owe her is the courtesy of telling her that you do carry.

You owe your wife common courtesy, she owes you the respect of abiding by your decisions.

Bob Wright


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

I agree with the above statements, unfortunately she's taken the stance that under no circumstances am I going to carry around her or the kids, which happen to be the primary persons whom I would give my life to protect...maybe she thinks people who carry are looking for a gunfight...I've explained that's to the contrary, of course we know it is an option of very last resort, and I pray I never find myself in a situation where I would have to exercise it. In Ohio you have a duty to retreat (probably the same for most states), there isn't even a Castle Doctrine in your own home...That's part of the reason I want HER to take a class so that she can witness what the proper (and real) attitude of those who exercise their right to carry legally is, whether she takes an interest or not, at least she'll be educated that people who carry aren't a bunch of nuts, and are actually the more responsible of citizens. 

A friend of mine told me I should never have told her and just carried anyway, that it was none of her business, well I don't believe that and I don't believe in keeping secrets from my wife (was a single friend of course), plus she would eventually bump into it or see me taking it off, etc., so it wouldn't stay a secret for long.


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## Bob Wright (May 10, 2006)

I applaud your stand of not keeping anything from your wife. That's the way it should be. I believe everything should be open and above board in husband/wife relationships.

Bob Wright


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## Bob Wright (May 10, 2006)

As to taking your wife, or anyone else, to the morgue, most people in charge of morgues (morgue keepers?) will not allow casual visitors. Only the first person who can make identification is allowed to view the corpse, after that, only law enforcement investigators, when necessary, are allowed access. From then on, the corpse is not viewed again until funeral visitation. This, at least, is the policy in my area.

Bob Wright


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## Todd (Jul 3, 2006)

Check out www.combatcarry.com. It's another forum that will give you a lot of information on CCW.

My wife has never been pro-gun or anti-gun, she's kind of neutral. She does, however, think that my carrying is a bit over the top. But she knows that I am doing it because I feel morally obligated to protect her, my son, and myself and not just because I am trying to be macho, so she lets it slide. I'm lucky in the fact that I majored in Criminal Justice in college which makes me the household "expert" and helps me win most arguements with her in regards to guns and crime. Here is some infrmation I got at another site that may prove interesting to you, and your wife, and may help you change her position.

Fact Sheet: Guns Save Lives

A. Guns save more lives than they take; prevent more injuries than they inflict 
* Guns used 2.5 million times a year in self-defense. Law-abiding citizens use guns to defend themselves against criminals as many as 2.5 million times every year -- or about 6,850 times a day.This means that each year, firearms are used more than 80 times more often to protect the lives of honest citizens than to take lives.
* Of the 2.5 million times citizens use their guns to defend themselves every year, the overwhelming majority merely brandish their gun or fire a warning shot to scare off their attackers. Less than 8% of the time, a citizen will kill or wound his/her attacker.
* As many as 200,000 women use a gun every year to defend themselves against sexual abuse. 
* Even anti-gun Clinton researchers concede that guns are used 1.5 million times annually for self-defense. According to the Clinton Justice Department, there are as many as 1.5 million cases of self-defense every year. The National Institute of Justice published this figure in 1997 as part of "Guns in America" -- a study which was authored by noted anti-gun criminologists Philip Cook and Jens Ludwig. 
* Armed citizens kill more crooks than do the police. Citizens shoot and kill at least twice as many criminals as police do every year (1,527 to 606). And readers of Newsweek learned that "only 2 percent of civilian shootings involved an innocent person mistakenly identified as a criminal. The 'error rate' for the police, however, was 11 percent, more than five times as high." 
* Handguns are the weapon of choice for self-defense. Citizens use handguns to protect themselves over 1.9 million times a year. Many of these self-defense handguns could be labeled as "Saturday Night Specials." 
B. Concealed carry laws help reduce crime
* Nationwide: one-half million self-defense uses. Every year, as many as one-half million citizens defend themselves with a firearm away from home. 
* Concealed carry laws are dropping crime rates across the country. A comprehensive national study determined in 1996 that violent crime fell after states made it legal to carry concealed firearms. The results of the study showed: 
* States which passed concealed carry laws reduced their murder rate by 8.5%, rapes by 5%, aggravated assaults by 7% and robbery by 3%; and 
* If those states not having concealed carry laws had adopted such laws in 1992, then approximately 1,570 murders, 4,177 rapes, 60,000 aggravated assaults and over 11,000 robberies would have been avoided yearly. 
* Vermont: one of the safest five states in the country. In Vermont, citizens can carry a firearm without getting permission... without paying a fee... or without going through any kind of government-imposed waiting period. And yet for ten years in a row, Vermont has remained one of the top-five, safest states in the union -- having three times received the "Safest State Award." 
* Florida: concealed carry helps slash the murder rates in the state. In the fifteen years following the passage of Florida's concealed carry law in 1987, over 800,000 permits to carry firearms were issued to people in the state. FBI reports show that the homicide rate in Florida, which in 1987 was much higher than the national average, fell 52% during that 15-year period -- thus putting the Florida rate below the national average. 
* Do firearms carry laws result in chaos? No. Consider the case of Florida. A citizen in the Sunshine State is far more likely to be attacked by an alligator than to be assaulted by a concealed carry holder. 
1. During the first fifteen years that the Florida law was in effect, alligator attacks outpaced the number of crimes committed by carry holders by a 229 to 155 margin. 
2. And even the 155 "crimes" committed by concealed carry permit holders are somewhat misleading as most of these infractions resulted from Floridians who accidentally carried their firearms into restricted areas, such as an airport. 
C. Criminals avoid armed citizens 
* Kennesaw, GA. In 1982, this suburb of Atlanta passed a law requiring heads of households to keep at least one firearm in the house. The residential burglary rate subsequently dropped 89% in Kennesaw, compared to the modest 10.4% drop in Georgia as a whole. 
* Ten years later (1991), the residential burglary rate in Kennesaw was still 72% lower than it had been in 1981, before the law was passed. 
* Nationwide. Statistical comparisons with other countries show that burglars in the United States are far less apt to enter an occupied home than their foreign counterparts who live in countries where fewer civilians own firearms. Consider the following rates showing how often a homeowner is present when a burglar strikes: 
* Homeowner occupancy rate in the gun control countries of Great Britain, Canada and Netherlands: 45% (average of the three countries); and, 
* Homeowner occupancy rate in the United States: 12.7%. 
Rapes averted when women carry or use firearms for protection 
* Orlando, FL. In 1966-67, the media highly publicized a safety course which taught Orlando women how to use guns. The result: Orlando's rape rate dropped 88% in 1967, whereas the rape rate remained constant in the rest of Florida and the nation. 
* Nationwide. In 1979, the Carter Justice Department found that of more than 32,000 attempted rapes, 32% were actually committed. But when a woman was armed with a gun or knife, only 3% of the attempted rapes were actually successful. 
Justice Department study: 
* 3/5 of felons polled agreed that "a criminal is not going to mess around with a victim he knows is armed with a gun." 
* 74% of felons polled agreed that "one reason burglars avoid houses when people are at home is that they fear being shot during the crime." 
* 57% of felons polled agreed that "criminals are more worried about meeting an armed victim than they are about running into the police."


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## OrangeSkies (Jul 5, 2006)

You might try logic...



> "To my mind it is wholly irresponsible to go into the world incapable of preventing violence, injury, crime, and death. How feeble is the mindset to accept defenselessness. How unnatural. How cheap. How cowardly. How pathetic."
> 
> --Ted Nugent


To do otherwise is to play the role of the victim.


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

Great info guys, I appreciate it, and I also wanted to say Thanks for listening to me b_tch :smt022 :smt076 :mrgreen:


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## jwkimber45 (May 6, 2006)

Buckeye said:


> Yep but I didn't get there till about 1pm, stayed for the OWA Meeting.


I was one of the fellas at the Sitting Ducks Ltd. booth.


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## jwkimber45 (May 6, 2006)

Show her this: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/gen/ap/FL_Florida_Crime.html


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## Baldy (Jun 21, 2006)

*Try a Book.*

If the lady of the house is a reader like mine try a book. There's a real good one wrote by a Lady named Paxton Quigley. I think I spelled her name right. Mine had shot a 22 rifle one time in her life when we got married. She was a little girl at the time. Now she out shoots me almost everytime we go to the range together. She's got a real 32 Mauser, and a S&W 1911 45 SS. Anything the size of a rabbit with in 35/40' feet is history. :smt023 
Good Luck:mrgreen:


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## Buckeye (Jul 13, 2006)

jwkimber45 said:


> Show her this: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/gen/ap/FL_Florida_Crime.html


Wow I wish out CCW laws in Ohio were that lenient, one of the reasons I waited so long to get mine was because of the ridiculous restrictions they put on CCW, ...I can't really go in anywhere, at least where I live, all the stores have no gun signs (it was even reported that the AG's office was passing them out when the legislation went into effect, so businesses thought they were supposed to put them up), and don't even ask me about the vehicle laws :smt011. Unlike Florida I can't go out to eat with one anywhere they sell beer and wine, which is any restaurant. Our fake Republican Governor has been no friend of CCW either. Basically it's easier to get in trouble trying to abide by the law than just carrying illegally and not telling anyone...but I guess you have to start somewhere.


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## 2400 (Feb 4, 2006)

Have her read this
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BTT/is_152_25/ai_72293280


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## OrangeSkies (Jul 5, 2006)

There are many sites that offer a woman's perspective on this very issue, here's just a few:

*http://www.2asisters.org/*
*http://www.womentoarms.net/*
*http://www.armedfemalesofamerica.com/*
*http://www.libertybelles.org/*[B]http://www.womenandguns.com/[/B]
*http://www.aware.org/*
*http://www.wagc.com/* (Women Against Gun Control)

There also several good books on the subject, one of my favorites for "converting" women is the book called "Dial 911 and Die". (http://dial911.itgo.com/).

Good luck...


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