# Convincing my parents to have a HD weapon



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

My parents aren't a fan of guns. My dad did have a .22LR bolt-action, .410, and .32 Winchester special when he was my age and a bit younger and hunted squirrel and rabbit with them, but he gutted them when my sister was born...he didn't want accidents, which is understandable.

So here's the deal. My parents don't have any form or fashion of HD. While they live in a nice neighborhood, there have been several breakins around their subdivision lately, and I don't like the idea of them being unarmed if someone broke in while they were home. While my dad would fight someone off, my mom would be completely defenseless, and the thought of my parents being subjected to violence without protection terrifies me. They respect my right and reason to carry a concealed handgun, but have no interest in one for themselves. I even asked Dad a couple of months ago if they had any kind of firearm in the house, and his answer was no. Both of my parents expressed that they don't feel the need to arm themselves, and I personally think it's a bit irrational to not have a means of defense, even if it never has to be used. Being that my mom is retiring this year, she'll be at home a lot. I don't want someone invading our house and her being defenseless and alone.

I'm thinking the best way to go about it would be to buy them a handgun. That way, they don't have to go purchase one, they only have to know how to safely handle it, and use it if ever necessary. And they won't have a receipt (I'll have the receipt) to go get a refund at the store.

If I do follow this route, what do you think I should get them? Teaching my mom to use an autoloader probably wouldn't work. Not that she's incapable of learning, but her devotion to learning how to handle/use something she's not a fan of isn't that great. The best gun for my parents would be one that both can use, and both could pull out of a drawer and pull the trigger. I'm thinking a revolver in .38 special. A .357 mag would be too much for my mom to handle if Godforbid, she ever needed to use it. I'm open to other suggestions though about the way to go about the whole deal, and also on firearm selection.


----------



## Alaskan_Viking (Jun 13, 2006)

Get them a MAC10 ...:smt068


----------



## Mdnitedrftr (Aug 10, 2006)

Shotguns are the best home defense guns IMO.


----------



## Mike Barham (Mar 30, 2006)

Your parents are adults, and old enough to make their own choices in life, even if you disagree with those choices. They respect your desire to own and carry a gun. Accord the same respect to their desire not to.

Not everyone should have a gun. Anyone insufficiently motivated to go get their own gun won't bother to train, anyway, and the gun will probably be more of a danger than a help.


----------



## Liko81 (Nov 21, 2007)

fivehourfrenzy said:


> I'm thinking the best way to go about it would be to buy them a handgun. That way, they don't have to go purchase one, they only have to know how to safely handle it, and use it if ever necessary. And they won't have a receipt (I'll have the receipt) to go get a refund at the store.


Well, first of all, a handgun bought from an FFL is a handgun owned, period. The FFL is prohibited by federal law from doing exchanges and refunds.

Having said that, I think either a .38 revolver or a 20-gauge pump would be good home defense weapons. A 12 would be better if you go the shotgun route because they'd then have more options other than shotshells (slugs, sabots, rubber, beanbags, etc) which could save some repairs to the decor, but a 20 would be more easily handled by a novice, and everyone knows how a pump-action works. If it's still too much your mom can back it against a door jamb facing down the hall or towards the front door. A .38 is totally adequate as well, but a revolver is going to produce a lot of muzzle flip so the perceived recoil, especially in a snubby, is going to be significant.

I'd recommend a Ruger .357 like the GP101, between 3 and 4" barrel, and just load .38s in it. This'll be a heavier gun than a S&W or Rossi snubby, so there'll be less recoil, and you have both the simplicity of a revolver and the ability to trade up on shot power if it turns out your mom is made of sterner stuff than you think :mrgreen:


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

Thanks for the replies. It's something to think about.



Mike Barham said:


> Not everyone should have a gun. Anyone insufficiently motivated to go get their own gun won't bother to train, anyway, and the gun will probably be more of a danger than a help.


In the event someone did break in, their thinking would probably change from, "Nobody will break into *our* home, we don't need a gun" to "Someone did break in...at least our son got us a gun if we need it." With my parents, it usually takes something happening for them to realize it can happen.



Alaskan_Viking said:


> Get them a MAC10 ...:smt068


LOL...yeah I'm sure that'd go over real well.


----------



## Todd (Jul 3, 2006)

If they don't want a gun, don't get them a gun. Odds are it's just to sit there collecting dust. 

My first question to people who ask me personally about what gun to get for home or self defense is "Are you mentally prepared to use the gun against another person? If you had to, in defense of yourself or family, honestly, could you kill someone?" If they aren't mentally prepared to use the gun, what's the point of having one? Sure, they could pull the gun and potentially scare someone away, but there is also the potential that the BG will call their bluff and end up with a gun. IMO, your parents aren't at all prepared to use a gun against someone, and until they are, are probably better off not having one. It's probably best just to get them a baseball bat or a Mastiff.


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

That's a very good point. If you had asked me that question, the answer would be, "If someone breaks into my home and threatens the lives of me and my loved ones, they won't live to tell about it." That doesn't imply that I'll go hunting someone down in my house...like I've said before, I'll take my sniper's perch at the top of the steps, and if they come up those steps, they're finished. They can have whatever they want from downstairs, but coming upstairs endangers lives, and I won't give them the chance to harm myself or any others.

If my parents were asked that question, you would probably get different answers from my mom and from my dad. However, if they were put in the situation, their actions would speak louder than words, and I doubt they would give the same answer now as they would if they were in the situation where it was their lives, or the perp's.


----------



## Arcus (Feb 13, 2008)

Mike: +1.
FHF: Remember your parents are likely very set in their ways and unlikely to change in this regard without a change in their perception of the likelihood of a home invasion. That's the discussion. Of course my replies are influenced by my experience with my parents on other issues and my own wife (who won't allow any firearms in the house). :-(


----------



## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

fivehourfrenzy said:


> ...if they were put in the situation, their actions would speak louder than words, and I doubt they would give the same answer now as they would if they were in the situation where it was their lives, or the perp's.


You can't put your thoughts and desires into someone else's head, no matter how hard you try. Your parents say that they don't want a self-defense gun in the house, and you absolutely must accept that as gospel.
You absolutely know that your way is right. Well, so do they, and only they have the absolute right to make that decision for themselves. Any other way is tyranny.
Buying them a gun won't change the way they think, and won't make them use it either. We all die, someday. Them, too. And if they die as the result of their own poor decision, so be it. That's their choice.
Don't force your ideas on them. All you'll do is alienate them, make them angry, and make them dig their heels in even harder.


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

The truth hurts sometimes...maybe if the next-door neighbor got bludgeoned to death by an invader, they'd open their eyes. Well, as far as I'm concerned, I choose to defend myself. I guess in the end that's what matters.


----------



## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

fivehourfrenzy said:


> ...Well, as far as I'm concerned, I choose to defend myself. I guess in the end that's what matters.


The best thing you can do is to take responsibility for yourself.
The worst thing you can do is to try to take responsibility for someone else who doesn't want you to.


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

Steve M1911A1 said:


> The best thing you can do is to take responsibility for yourself.
> The worst thing you can do is to try to take responsibility for someone else who doesn't want you to.


Well said...even one of my uncles who is probably the closest to my dad out of all his brothers has tried talking him into a HD weapon. Didn't work.


----------



## SuckLead (Jul 4, 2006)

Mike Barham said:


> Your parents are adults, and old enough to make their own choices in life, even if you disagree with those choices. They respect your desire to own and carry a gun. Accord the same respect to their desire not to.
> 
> Not everyone should have a gun. Anyone insufficiently motivated to go get their own gun won't bother to train, anyway, and the gun will probably be more of a danger than a help.


I'm 100% behind Mike on this one. My dad has shown interest in having a defensive weapon at home, but not a firearm. So I have chosen to aid him in finding the proper form of home defense for him. Be it a taser, baton, whatever it is he may want, he's an adult and it is his choice.

If your parents respect your choice to own and carry, I would say thank them for that by respecting their choice to not own and carry. Not everyone wants a gun, even those who once had them. Leave it be. If you can talk them into a taser, great. But do not buy them anything they do not want to own. Even if you buy them a gun, they probably will never use it, even when they have to. They have their reasons for not wanting one like you have your reasons for wanting one. Respect that and let them defend themselves as they feel comfortable.


----------



## Wandering Man (Jul 9, 2006)

Todd said:


> If they don't want a gun, don't get them a gun. Odds are it's just to sit there collecting dust.


If all it did was collect dust, that wouldn't be a problem.

But the bigger problem seems to be that placing a gun in the home of someone who doesn't want it may amount to arming the home invader.

I would follow Sucklead's route.

WM


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

I could see where it could be more of a danger than help. I'd hate to think either of my parents would point it at someone, then back out and drop it on the floor, or let the BG take it from them.

I guess I should talk to them about their personal safety, and not mention any kind of weapon. Just stress to them that as they're retiring and will be traveleing more, as well as losing physical ability to fight a BG off by hand, will contribute to them having a higher chance of an attack. They tend to take the "it'll never happen to me" philosophy, whereas I take the "even if it'll never happen to me, I'll be ready for it if it does" thinking. There's nothing wrong with either, just differing opinions.


----------



## vel525 (Feb 13, 2008)

Why not see if they want to get a dog? IMO, a dog is the the best derrent to most burglars. Again, similar to the gun, I wouldn't just buy them a dog, but maybe talk to them about considering getting a dog as some sort of HD. And of course they make great pets too :mrgreen:


----------



## SuckLead (Jul 4, 2006)

vel525 said:


> Why not see if they want to get a dog? IMO, a dog is the the best derrent to most burglars. Again, similar to the gun, I wouldn't just buy them a dog, but maybe talk to them about considering getting a dog as some sort of HD. And of course they make great pets too :mrgreen:


I can get behind that. Even though Lily had a stroke, I feel confident that my mom is safe in her capable paws. No one gets between Lily and my mom. And no one gets between me and Lily. A dog is a wonderful pet, and even the smallest of dogs would give its life defending its master. As an added benefit, nothing brings smiles like playing with a dog and nothing is as relaxing as having one sleep with its head on your lap.


----------



## Guest (Feb 23, 2008)

If you want to buy them something make it an alarm system as they indicated they don't want a firearm and if you try to force it on them I can almost guarantee that will go badly.


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

My parents have two labs. While they're completely unferocious, they'll let them know if someone's outside, which is usually enough to deter a home invader as they know someone inside is awake, alert, and suspecting something's not right. Granted, they bark at everything that moves, but one time I was sculking around outside after working on my car, Dundee (yellow lab) comes around the corner and sees my rear end sneaking around a corner and went completely bezerk. The bark didn't say, "Hey, someone pulled into the driveway." It said, "Guys, get your behinds out here, there's some Asian that thinks he's a ninja sneaking around the yard, call the cops!!!" Dumb dog...he still kept barking at me after I showed myself and petted him. I'm sure he glad he doesn't have a gun! :anim_lol:


----------



## NAS T MAG (Dec 9, 2007)

TerryP said:


> If you want to buy them something make it an alarm system as they indicated they don't want a firearm and if you try to force it on them I can almost guarantee that will go badly.


I agree. If you're a homeowner and don't have an alarm system, even if you live in a gated community, you simply haven't taken the first step to protect yourself.

Most people I know, who have had a break-in, get an alarm system. Always after the fact! In my mind, my firearms are the last line of defense in my home. Walking to my car at night when it's dark is a whole other issue.


----------



## SuckLead (Jul 4, 2006)

fivehourfrenzy said:


> My parents have two labs. While they're completely unferocious, they'll let them know if someone's outside, which is usually enough to deter a home invader as they know someone inside is awake, alert, and suspecting something's not right. Granted, they bark at everything that moves, but one time I was sculking around outside after working on my car, Dundee (yellow lab) comes around the corner and sees my rear end sneaking around a corner and went completely bezerk. The bark didn't say, "Hey, someone pulled into the driveway." It said, "Guys, get your behinds out here, there's some Asian that thinks he's a ninja sneaking around the yard, call the cops!!!" Dumb dog...he still kept barking at me after I showed myself and petted him. I'm sure he glad he doesn't have a gun! :anim_lol:


Don't ever underestimate dogs. You've not had a chance to see them at their best. I had a 20 lb. dog when I was younger, just a tiny little thing, sweet as can be. We always said she was not the best as a defense dog, but her bark was loud. Well, then came the day I got attacked by a German Shepard. My whole family got to witness a 20 lb. ball of sweetness jump on a German Shepard and kick it's butt. Not only did she get that huge dog off of me, she put it down on its back and had it screaming in terror. We have never underestimated a dog since. Even at 15 years old, completely blind and half way deaf, a guy was outside our house screaming at my mother about God knows what and that little thing leapt off the porch at him and chased him down the block as far as she could go. Granted, I had to go retrieve her because she couldn't make it back on her own, but that guy never showed his face around here again. Even the friendliest of dogs will turn into a wild animal when its food source is threatened.


----------



## fivehourfrenzy (Aug 12, 2007)

That's a good point...that's why the whole argument about who can bite harder (pit bulls versus rotts) doesn't hold up. You can't test a dog's bite...their truth strength always occurs when they're not being tested. The labs are starting to reach age of maturity...they're around three. My pup isn't even a year old. She's still a wimp. She has, however, gone from completely running from the vacuum cleaner at six months old to attacking it at 11 months. I know that sounds silly but she's growing bolder and more confident, so I know by the time she's 2-3, she's not a dog you'd wanna piss off. Her bite is so incredibly strong and her teeth are so incredibly sharp.


----------

