# To spank or not to spank, where's the deputy?



## BackyardCowboy (Aug 27, 2014)

Father Calls Police To Witness His 12-Year-Old Daughter?s Punishment: Four Spankings, Using A Paddle


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## SouthernBoy (Jun 27, 2007)

I saw this the other day. It's just flat ridiculous. It's no one's business how a parent wishes to discipline their progeny, spanking or otherwise (I'm not talking about actual abuse here). I'll tell you quite truthfully and without reservation that I am thankful for every spanking I got as a child because there is no doubt in my mind that not only did I deserve it, but it kept me on the right track. This includes having my mouth washed out with bar soap and being sent to bed without dinner. I spanked my daughters when it was needed at the time and have no remorse or after thoughts about having done this whatsoever.

Thank God my parents cared for me enough to do these things to me.


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## GCBHM (Mar 24, 2014)

My cousin told me he got a call a few years ago of domestic trouble only to find upon arriving that the parent wanted him to make their kid do his homework. No kidding!


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## SouthernBoy (Jun 27, 2007)

That's pretty pathetic.


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## GCBHM (Mar 24, 2014)

Agreed.


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## Cait43 (Apr 4, 2013)




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## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

SouthernBoy said:


> ...It's no one's business how a parent wishes to discipline their progeny, spanking or otherwise...


Nowadays, in the era of Political Correctness and the Nanny State, your statement is no longer true.
In some communities, a single swat given with an open hand to a standing, fully-clothed child will bring the child-protection Nazis down upon the parent, complete with a removal order and a subpoena to a domestic-court hearing.

However, this has nothing to do with protecting the child from abuse, and everything to do with Progressives controlling the ways people do their jobs as parents. That is, it's about control, and not about children or parents at all.

I find it strange that people who neglect their parental duties and responsibilities, and who allow their children to run wild and unsupervised, do not come under this same judgemental scrutiny. Perhaps that is because a wild and uncontrolled child will eventually end up under the control of the Nanny State anyway, in the guise of the penal system. Or, perhaps, it is because when a wild and uncontrolled child grows up, he (or she) can easily be redirected, made into a useful pawn of state control to be used aggressively on others more independent-minded and defiant.

NKVD, _Cheka_, OGPU, KGB, Brownshirts, _Sicherheitsdienst_, _Stürmabteilung_, SS, Blackshirts, MVSN...all of these services were recruited from disaffected youth.


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## BackyardCowboy (Aug 27, 2014)

'Spare the rod, spoil the child' still works. Time outs stop working after a certain age and what if the kid won't stay in the time out?
In a society of sheep, no corporal punishment works great. Schools are now putting kids on pass/almost past grading systems and games (volleyball, basketball, etc) are about participating and not about winning. "Oh, the other team won? here's a ribbon to help you feel better. ("Nobody loses")
Capitalism (USA) is about doing better to get yourself ahead. Remember, YOU didn't succeed Obama made you succeed. (*Barf*)


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## SouthernBoy (Jun 27, 2007)

Steve M1911A1 said:


> Nowadays, in the era of Political Correctness and the Nanny State, your statement is no longer true.
> In some communities, a single swat given with an open hand to a standing, fully-clothed child will bring the child-protection Nazis down upon the parent, complete with a removal order and a subpoena to a domestic-court hearing.
> 
> However, this has nothing to do with protecting the child from abuse, and everything to do with Progressives controlling the ways people do their jobs as parents. That is, it's about control, and not about children or parents at all.
> ...


*"Nowadays, in the era of Political Correctness and the Nanny State, your statement is no longer true."*
In some parts of the country, I've no doubt that this is true.

*"In some communities, a single swat given with an open hand to a standing, fully-clothed child will bring the child-protection Nazis down upon the parent, complete with a removal order and a subpoena to a domestic-court hearing."*
This goes hand in hand with a paper Hillary Clinton wrote in college in which she proposed that children cannot be reared by their parents and be expected to not have biases passed down to them from their parents. Therefore it would be best if the state took over raising children 2-years old and up to prevent this.

It's a very sad state of affairs and for you and I, and others in our age group, a world apart from how we were raised.


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## SouthernBoy (Jun 27, 2007)

BackyardCowboy said:


> 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' still works. Time outs stop working after a certain age and what if the kid won't stay in the time out?
> In a society of sheep, no corporal punishment works great. Schools are now putting kids on pass/almost past grading systems and games (volleyball, basketball, etc) are about participating and not about winning. "Oh, the other team won? here's a ribbon to help you feel better. ("Nobody loses")
> Capitalism (USA) is about doing better to get yourself ahead. Remember, YOU didn't succeed Obama made you succeed. (*Barf*)


A parent is a fool if they discard any of the tools in their parenting tool box just because these tools are not in vogue or are deemed to be unacceptable. Spanking is one of these tools. Throwing it out and one just might be discarding the one tool that would work.

I wrote a short paper in college on physical discipline. It was my contention that what I wrote in the above paragraph was common sense and that the prudent and wise parent keeps a full tool box from which to draw their discipline tools for specific instances of need. You won't always need to spank your children just like you won't always need to use some other tool. You match the tools to the instant situation. There are lot of other things I covered in that paper that I won't go now but suffice it to say that you'll know your plan worked when you have managed to raise your child into a responsible and productive adult.


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## PT111Pro (Nov 15, 2014)

> Steve1911A1
> However, this has nothing to do with protecting the child from abuse, and everything to do with Progressives controlling the ways people do their jobs as parents. That is, it's about control, and not about children or parents at all.


You are right. That is no parenting at all. Its all about creating the perfect citizen. Who said the politician class can not pic their own citizens?
A perfect citizens buy whatever the TV holds him/her under their noses, says what the TV tells them to say, vote exactly what the TV tells them to vote for, feels what the TV tells them to feel. Demonstrate even violent or not depending what the TV tells them..... It's a brain conditioning procedure that have to start in childhood. 
That is why the Clinton Lady want the children as soon as possible. It is the condition of the masses and comes out of the 1960ties Frankfurter Schule under Habermass. The children that just not responding to brain washing get diagnosed. I just saw a diagnosed boy on the weekend. A 9 year old boy that takes all this modern medications. N, - mom is convinced its right. She is divorced and find it convenience that he is quiet and she can sit on facebook the entire day. Her biggest concern? Healthcare, she complains she has to pay even for Obama care. A doctor described the pills for her son after all, it can't hurting him, - right? You can put this boy for hours on a chair, facing a wall, and he will not even blink with an eye. But a good old spanking harms a child. Go figure.

It's a world of 5% elite that they want to create. They will live like the Pharaohs in old Egypt. 10% necessary producers and protectors that produce for the political elite and protects the elite. Well and the rest just a gen pool and a spare parts resource for the 5% financial and political elite.

Children that never hear a NO will never say Yes, and under hard torture they will may be say yes but... 
That is a saying that my grand-grandfather already told me. That is nothing new.

I wonder often, how long such a system last until its implodes on itself. I just don't believe that the masses can be intellectually enslaved for ever. As soon as they learn what that system really is, stripped from daydreams the people come back to their senses. Sad is only that this process in the history of man, always took millions and millions of life to get rid of it.


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## Bisley (Aug 24, 2008)

I spanked my daughters, starting when they were old enough to understand right and wrong behavior, and ending before they started kindergarten. I tried other things first, but when those failed I issued one warning that the spanking was next, and never reneged on that promise, and never apologized afterwards. The oldest got a grand total of three spankings, the younger one got four, none of which they really remember, now. They only remember that daddy told the truth - if he said it was going to happen, it did. My wife backed me up...at least in front of the kids. We didn't have the 'teenager' problems that a lot of folks had, and they understood that the amount of freedom they had depended on how much we trusted them.

I believed then, and I still do, that spankings are usually not necessary (with most kids) if the parent is paying enough attention to his kids, and that the need for a spanking is a failure of the parent to outsmart the kid. But nobody is perfect, and parents make mistakes, get busy, or maybe just gets worn down. But, when a child develops a behavior problem, while you aren't looking, you have to bring it to a halt by setting a punishment that they don't like (a lot), and carrying it out, without remorse (in their estimation). The spankings I gave my girls hurt them more than they hurt me, at the time...but they got over it a lot quicker than I did.

Of course, it's possible that I was completely wrong, and that I just had good kids.


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## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

My daughter required only one single swat, only once.
After that, merely the threat of another swat brought immediate compliance.

She grew up to be a fine human being, a good employee, a wonderful parent of her own daughter, and, it seems, an excellent and well-loved wife.

But maybe I, like Bisley, was just blessed with a good kid.


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## paratrooper (Feb 1, 2012)

This country of ours is in a nose-dive and I doubt there's no pulling out of it. It's just another example of how bad it's become. 

When my two brothers and I were young, we knew that if we messed up, our father and his size 12 work boots would quickly get us back on track. 

Being young strapping boys, it took more than once to get us re-aligned via the boots. Point is, our father didn't spare the boot, and we grew up pretty responsible. We knew there are consequences to any and all actions.


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## GCBHM (Mar 24, 2014)

Steve M1911A1 said:


> My daughter required only one single swat, only once.
> After that, merely the threat of another swat brought immediate compliance.
> 
> She grew up to be a fine human being, a good employee, a wonderful parent of her own daughter, and, it seems, an excellent and well-loved wife.
> ...


Yeah, I'm a firm believer in handling what needs to be handled at the lowest possible level. I've never met a child who did not need at the very least a "swat", but some (and they are the exceptions mind you) truly do not need to be spanked much, if at all. I spanked my little girl early and often. Not for everything, but willful disobedience. She is stubborn and willful like her mommy and daddy, so she comes by it honest. However, now, all I have to do is speak to her in a terse tone, and she tightens it up. It has been that way for a while now, and she is 10.

The most important thing is to be consistent. Know what motivates your child, and empower them to succeed. I believe that which is rewarded will be repeated, so reward good decisions as often as possible. If one has to spank, do so begrudgingly, but make it a real life altering experience so that they will not forget it. That is what helps them make the good decisions. Some will require more than others, and we're all different, but I endeavor to teach mine to discipline themselves. Any fool can punish, but discipline requires time, love and attention. When they start exercising discipline then you know you've done something right.


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## tony pasley (May 6, 2006)

When we got punished it was usually in public view. ! dose of example applied to who ever saw every one straightened up.


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## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

Here's an important study to read, on the subject of raising successful children.
Click on: Love Is All You Need: Insights from the Grant Study | The Art of Manliness

It's the longest-running study on the subject of raising successful children in history, following the study subjects from age 18 through (so far) their 80s.
This study is solely about boys and men, but the information that's been gleaned from it will be equally useful in raising girls into successful women.

And, yes, spanking is covered too...at least indirectly.

(Thanks to a distinguished member of another gun-related forum, for bringing this study to my attention.)


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## GCBHM (Mar 24, 2014)

Steve M1911A1 said:


> Here's an important study to read, on the subject of raising successful children.
> Click on: Love Is All You Need: Insights from the Grant Study | The Art of Manliness
> 
> It's the longest-running study on the subject of raising successful children in history, following the study subjects from age 18 through (so far) their 80s.
> ...


Very good read. I'll have to spend more time diving into it over time, but the one thing I take away immediately is that solid and deep relationships are what matter most. I am a firm believer that you cannot have authority without a relationship, and by that I mean submission is a choice one must make to submit their will to the will of another, such as a son to a father. If the son is taught to love, trust and respect properly, he will submit his will to his fathers accordingly b/c he trusts his father to lead and guide him in the way.

If the father abuses the son, the son will not submit his will when he comes of age b/c he rejects what his father stands for. We see this all the time with the young teenager rebelling against dear old dad. What a lot of parents don't understand is that you don't just beat a child to punish them. You don't spank for everything, and you don't spank/punish where there is no law. If there is no law, there can be no transgression. Honest mistakes are teaching tools, not opportunity for beatings. Children instinctively seek to please, so when they are taught properly, they will respond accordingly. Celebrate jobs well done! Deal with mistakes as teaching opportunities, and discipline (not just punish) when needed according to the situation.

I don't spank for everything, but when I do there is restoration involved. Explanation for understanding and restoration. It truly breeds a loving environment. My goal is to train them to respond to my voice immediately. Why? B/c I want to train them to respond immediately to the voice of the Lord, and that requires time, attention and love. I can't always be there, but the Lord is, and if we will choose to follow his leading, we will stay out of trouble. Others may believe differently, and that's fine. I go with what works well for me. Thanks for the article, Steve.


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