# Rules for BBQ'in



## Mdnitedrftr (Aug 10, 2006)

BBQ season is here, so I thought Id just remind everyone about certain rules one must abide by in order to have a successful BBQ.

(1) The woman buys the food. 

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert .. 

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. 

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. 

Here comes the important part: 

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 

More routine... 

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another him another beer while he flips the meat 

Important again: 

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 

More routine... 

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 

And most important of all: 

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.


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## tekhead1219 (May 16, 2008)

Just the way it's supposed to be....isn't it?:anim_lol::smt082


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## unpecador (May 9, 2008)

*Good thread!*

I agree with everything listed except for three things...

1) To me there is no such thing as BBQ season, it's a year 'round activity for my household and I make sure of that. If it rains, no problem, my patio is covered.

2) I buy the meat, this is a must and I'm not talking about hamburgers and hot dogs. I'm talking steaks and chicken breasts and I'm very selective when the time comes. My wife can buy whatever sides she wants to prepare.

3) I do all of the handling of the meat prior to cooking, including preparing and marinating. That is part of the ritual for me.

Gawd I love to barbeque!


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## 48dodge (Nov 1, 2008)

unpecador said:


> I agree with everything listed except for three things...
> 
> 1) To me there is no such thing as BBQ season, it's a year 'round activity for my household and I make sure of that. If it rains, no problem, my patio is covered.
> 
> ...


That's not barbecue, that's grilling. Big difference, believe me. I love barbecuing and grilling.

Here's a pic of my rig from last 4th of July. It was packed to the gills with ribs and spatchcocked chicken









Low and slow is barbecue.

Oh, and I buy all the meat and sides. My wife is the one that relaxes and drinks the beer


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## unpecador (May 9, 2008)

48dodge said:


> That's not barbecue, that's grilling. Big difference, believe me. I love barbecuing and grilling.


I agree and it's funny because my brother and I just had this argument yesterday and I called it grilling although we both agreed that there is not a big difference because the food is being cooked by fire either way.


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## Steve M1911A1 (Feb 6, 2008)

48dodge said:


> That's not barbecue, that's grilling. Big difference, believe me. I love barbecuing and grilling.
> 
> Here's a pic of my rig from last 4th of July. It was packed to the gills with ribs and spatchcocked chicken
> 
> ...


What's your address? How big is your guest room? How soon can we move in?


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## 48dodge (Nov 1, 2008)

Well, for the most part, that's true. But I would say that bbq is cooked by smoke and a little bit of heat. If you're cooking with fire's direct heat, then you're grilling. Heck, you can get good bbq with an electric smoker. I've done bbq with propane, but it really puts out too much moisture from combustion to get really good real bbq. Lump charcoal and wood chunks are the way I do it. Man, now you really have me in the mood to get my cooker out and fired up! That's definitely one reason I enjoy my grill over the cooker. The grill, I can have it fired up, food cooked and shut off in less than 30 minutes. My cooker takes me about an hour to get up to a steady heat, cook for a minimum of 4 hours. Sometimes more than 8 hours. Haven't done a whole pig yet, but planning to.


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## 48dodge (Nov 1, 2008)

Steve M1911A1 said:


> What's your address? How big is your guest room? How soon can we move in?


Hehe. That's my in-laws house. We live in the same neighborhood so needless to say we spend most of our summer days over there. That's not even the best view from their house. We've got about a 5 year plan to move in there. And since my mother-in-law enjoys cooking about as much as my wife, they're getting anxious about us moving in.


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## DevilsJohnson (Oct 21, 2007)

I once grilled through a tornado warning. WE heard the sirens but I had 1.5 inch T-Bones on the grill and I was not giving them up. There is no such thing as grilling season for me. I do it year round and I don't care what's going outside.:smt082

I have to buy all the meat mainly because my wife is not a big meat eater and I just don't trust her ot get the good stuff. Anyway I know a butcher pretty well at this one store that I'll drive as way out of my way to go to most times jut because I can get about anything I want and get it cut to my specs. Out her in the sticks there are not a lot of butcher shops. I have taken a cow to get cut up by the Amish once. They will do ti anyway you want and even make ground beef by hand grinding it. I split it with my best friend and shooting buddy. WE bought a hog and had it cut up too for BBQing. I think we'll be doing that again real soon because I am about out of pork meat in the deep freeze.

I''ll also do all the prep to the meat just because I just want to. The wife is an amazing cook (My seemingly ever growing gut is testament to that:smt082). I just like being the mad scientist and trying all kinds of new and interesting things:smt082


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## clanger (Jan 27, 2009)

My Pop was a nut for 'BBQ'ing' a turkey in a Weber, evey year. 

Kinda like DJ- Rain or shine, sleet or snow, the rusty kettle would have smoke coming out of it....more than once I'd hold the unmbrella while he checked on things. 

Many a fine bird came outta that thing. The old guy had it down to a science.


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